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Author: PAIRS Foundation

What is PAIRS? Intimacy is critical to the process of developing and sustaining close relationships, now a major concern in our culture. Modernization has shifted the primary function of marriage from providing security, stability, and raising children to developing a lifetime of love and intimacy. In previous generations successful marriages depended upon duty and role competence. Modern marriages require greater interpersonal competence as well as equality between partners. Relationships are sought that not only create stable families but also provide partners with a lifetime of love and companionship. The PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) programs, developed by Lori H. Gordon, Ph.D., provide a comprehensive system to enhance self-knowledge and to develop the ability to sustain pleasurable intimate relationships. Gordon's approach integrates a wide range of theories and methods from psychology, education and psychotherapy and presents them in an educational format. PAIRS acts to bridge therapy, marital enrichment, and marriage and family development. Programs: Courses and Workshops PAIRS offers programs to the public led by PAIRS Trained Professionals (licensed health care professionals), and PAIRS Instructors (certified clergy and educators), trained under the auspices and supervision of Gordon and the PAIRS Foundation, the organization that officially oversees PAIRS programs, products and licensing worldwide. There are PTPs and facilitators around the world. Check “Finding an Educator” to find one near you or near one you love who may need PAIRS. PAIRS is effective in all populations for which it has been adapted. PAIRS has relationship skills training programs for children and youth, PAIRS for PEERS, that are taught in schools, churches and agencies. PAIRS has programs for the Military, for use by chaplains and family service workers. PAIRS has faith-based programs for the Jewish, Catholic, and Christian church communities. PAIRS is currently developing programs and program delivery systems for disadvantaged youth, unmarried families, single parents, domestic violence, prison parolees, and related groups who can benefit from relationship skills training. PAIRS provides a vital ingredient to build stable marriages and healthy families with more hopeful futures for children. These programs for special groups will be taught by local agency workers and by specially trained community teachers and mentors. Research on PAIRS has demonstrated that PAIRS works for all groups under all circumstances evaluated. PAIRS is a modern technology adapted to our rapidly changing society in behalf of creating a saner, safer more loving world. What you will learn in PAIRS Sustaining a pleasurable intimate relationship does not work by magic. It depends upon a set of skills and understanding that can be learned. We learned most of what we know about intimate relationships through our early experiences in our families. Our personal history has a great deal of influence on what happens in our current relationships - on our behavior, our feelings, our expectations. We can change these influences if we become aware of them and wish to. It is well worthwhile to sort through what we inherited, keeping what fits for today and changing what does not. PAIRS Competencies are specific skills that you will learn from PAIRS. These competencies focus in three areas: 1) emotional literacy; 2) conjoint partner skills for building and maintaining intimacy; and 3) practical knowledge, strategies and attitudes for sustaining positive marriage and family life. You may click on the above links to see a listing of the skills taught in PAIRS. The Goal of PAIRS is a relationship that both partners can live with joyfully. For this to happen, each partner must become able to identify his or her own feelings and needs, and learn to communicate them in such a way that they can get met. This means communicating one's needs and desires without making the other partner feel resentful, smothered, burdened, manipulated, or inadequate. Easily and fully meeting each others' needs is the foundation of intimacy, fulfillment, and happiness. PAIRS teaches specific easily learnable tools for successful communication such as confiding, complaining, and clarifying and for effective problems solving such as managing anger, expressing anger safely, fighting fairly for change and eliminating dirty fighting. PAIRS also guides the vast deepening of self-knowledge and develops emotional literacy. PAIRS addresses pleasure and satisfaction by teaching skills to enhance bonding, sensuality and sexuality in marriage. PAIRS teaches a profound but simple model, the Relationship Roadmap, to understand relationship success and to understand relationship mishaps and know what to do about them. PAIRS teaches over 60 skills that, after PAIRS, become the participants' PAIRS Tool Box for ongoing relationship maintenance.
U.S. Sailor takes top prize in fight for marriage, family
American Life Military and Veterans News Relationships

U.S. Sailor takes top prize in fight for marriage, family

PAIRS Foundation 23 Jun 20166 May 2019

A Navyman stationed in Okinawa won first place in an international contest for his active commitment to marriage and family…

We Wait too Long
American Life Education Health Lifestyle & Leisure News Philanthropy

We Wait too Long

PAIRS Foundation 28 Aug 201528 Aug 2015

We wait too long to do what must be done today, in a world which gives us only one day…

News

Benefits of a Healthy Marriage!

PAIRS Foundation 14 Feb 20141 Nov 2014 2 Comments on Benefits of a Healthy Marriage!

Benefits of Healthy Marriages For Children and Youth (Marriage Statistics) Researchers have found many benefits for children and youth who…

Why men struggle with love and what to do about it
Lifestyle & Leisure News Relationships

Why men struggle with love and what to do about it

PAIRS Foundation 25 Sep 201325 Sep 2013

Many of our fathers knew very little about what it takes to sustain love and intimacy. Whether or not couples…

More Than Half of Americans in Happy Relationships
American Life News PAIRS Foundation Research

More Than Half of Americans in Happy Relationships

PAIRS Foundation 20 Aug 201322 Aug 2013

A study of 10,548 people reveals most Americans are 'satisfied' or 'thrilled' with the quality of their intimate relationships. Less…

Relationship Retreats: Warriors to Soul Mates
Marriage Education Military and Veterans News Research

Relationship Retreats: Warriors to Soul Mates

PAIRS Foundation 20 Oct 201220 Oct 2012

The Department of Veterans Affairs has a new goal to care for and heal our wounded Veterans. In addition to…

PAIRS Teams Up with VA to Offer Marriage Retreats for Visually-Impaired Veterans
American Life Military and Veterans News

PAIRS Teams Up with VA to Offer Marriage Retreats for Visually-Impaired Veterans

PAIRS Foundation 24 Feb 201210 Oct 2012

After becoming trained as Marriage Education Instructors by the nonprofit PAIRS Foundation in 2011, Deborah and Todd Lovell today lead…

PAIRS VA Marriage Retreats Helping Veteran Couples Restore Love, Intimacy, Trust
American Life Military and Veterans News

PAIRS VA Marriage Retreats Helping Veteran Couples Restore Love, Intimacy, Trust

PAIRS Foundation 24 Feb 201225 Feb 2012

PAIRS VA Marriage Retreats are today helping thousands of Veteran couples restore love, intimacy and trust through programs offered by…

Education Frequently Asked Questions Health Marriage Education Military and Veterans PAIRS Foundation PAIRS Training Relationships

PAIRS Inbox: Frequently Asked Questions

PAIRS Foundation 7 Feb 20117 Feb 2011

Frequently Asked Questions and Answers about marriage education and relationship skills training from PAIRS Foundation's Inbox.

Marriage Education PAIRS Foundation

Five essential steps for love and intimacy

PAIRS Foundation 26 Apr 201028 Apr 2010

Join PAIRS National Trainer Lauren DelGandio for a complimentary one-hour online preview of five essential steps for love and intimacy,…

News

Subscribe for Chance to Win iPod Touch

PAIRS Foundation 26 Apr 20104 May 2010 2 Comments on Subscribe for Chance to Win iPod Touch

To celebrate the 10,000th visitor to FatherhoodChannel.com, we're giving away a free iPod Touch. Subscribe to FatherhoodChannel.com for a chance…

Health Military and Veterans News PAIRS Foundation Research

Helping families and marriages impacted by TBI

PAIRS Foundation 22 Apr 201025 Apr 2015

Caring for service members and veterans impacted by traumatic brain injury has become an increasingly urgent national priority. A new…

Health Lifestyle & Leisure News Research

By the Numbers – Children Born to Single Mothers

PAIRS Foundation 21 Apr 201028 Apr 2010

Recent reports from the Centers for Disease Control and Heritage Foundation on the scope and economic impact of childbirth by…

Education Lifestyle & Leisure Marriage Education News Research

Marriage therapy or marriage education?

PAIRS Foundation 21 Apr 201022 Apr 2010

For couples experiencing continued marital distress, two recent studies show the potential for significant, lasting improvement through marriage education and…

News PAIRS Foundation Press Releases Technology

Foundations team up with iTunes to promote tolerance with new iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad app

PAIRS Foundation 17 Apr 201028 Apr 2010 1 Comment on Foundations team up with iTunes to promote tolerance with new iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad app

Four years after a suicide bombing that claimed the life of a 16-year-old Florida youngster, PAIRS Foundation and the Daniel…

Research

How does your relationship measure up?

PAIRS Foundation 15 Apr 201028 Apr 2010

Answer these six questions to find out how your love life measures up with a free report.

Lifestyle & Leisure News

How to know if you have a healthy marriage

PAIRS Foundation 10 Mar 201017 Apr 2010

What's working well in your marriage? These tips from the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center can help you take the…

Marriage Education Military and Veterans PAIRS Foundation Press Releases

PAIRS DTR App Keeps Couples, Families, and Friends Connected through iPhone and Facebook

PAIRS Foundation 23 Feb 20104 Mar 2010 3 Comments on PAIRS DTR App Keeps Couples, Families, and Friends Connected through iPhone and Facebook

PAIRS DTR, a free iPhone app available today from iTunes, helps couples, families, parents, and friends strengthen relationships. Developed by…

Marriage Education PAIRS Foundation Press Releases

Hope for the Children of Liberty City and America

PAIRS Foundation 18 Feb 201011 Apr 2010 1 Comment on Hope for the Children of Liberty City and America

Their eyes still sparkle with the innocence of youth; their eager smiles and endearing manners invite understanding and empathy. For…

PAIRS Foundation PAIRS Training Press Releases

Training for Best Practice in Marriage/Family Education

PAIRS Foundation 16 Feb 20109 Oct 2012 1 Comment on Training for Best Practice in Marriage/Family Education

Escape to a remarkable 23-acre retreat at the luxurious Bonaventure Resort & Spa in Weston, Florida (minutes from Fort Lauderdale…

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