Benefits of a Healthy Marriage!

Benefits of Healthy Marriages For Children and Youth (Marriage Statistics)


Researchers have found many benefits for children and youth who are raised by parents in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following statistics:

  • More likely to attend college
  • Physically healthier
  • Emotionally healthier
  • Less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol
  • Less likely to commit delinquent behaviors
  • Less likely to be a victim of physical or sexual abuse
  • Be open and honest with the couples you help
  • Have a better relationship with their mothers and fathers
  • Decreases their chances of divorcing when they get married
  • Less likely to be raised in poverty

Benefits of a Healthy Marriage for Women

Researchers have found many benefits for women who are in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following statistics:

  • More satisfying relationship
  • Emotionally healthier
  • Wealthier
  • Less likely to be victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or other violent crimes
  • Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
  • Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
  • Less likely to remain or end up in poverty
  • Have better relationships with their children
  • Physically healthier

Benefits of a Healthy Marriage for Men

Researchers have found many benefits for men who are in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following statistics:

  • Live longer
  • Physically healthier
  • Wealthier
  • Increase in the stability of employment
  • Higher wages
  • Emotionally healthier
  • Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
  • Have better relationships with their children
  • More satisfying sexual relationship
  • Less likely to commit violent crimes

Benefits of Healthy Marriages for Communities

Researchers have found many benefits for communities when they have a higher percentage of couples in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy marriages, including the following statistics:

  • Higher rates of physically healthy citizens
  • Higher rates of emotionally healthy citizens
  • Higher rates of educated citizens
  • Lower domestic violence rates
  • Lower crime statistics
  • Lower teen age pregnancy rates
  • Lower rates of juvenile delinquency
  • Higher rates of home ownership
  • Lower rates of migration
  • Higher property values
  • Decreased need for social services



PAIRS Foundation View All →

What is PAIRS?

Intimacy is critical to the process of developing and sustaining close relationships, now a major concern in our culture. Modernization has shifted the primary function of marriage from providing security, stability, and raising children to developing a lifetime of love and intimacy. In previous generations successful marriages depended upon duty and role competence. Modern marriages require greater interpersonal competence as well as equality between partners. Relationships are sought that not only create stable families but also provide partners with a lifetime of love and companionship.

The PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) programs, developed by Lori H. Gordon, Ph.D., provide a comprehensive system to enhance self-knowledge and to develop the ability to sustain pleasurable intimate relationships. Gordon's approach integrates a wide range of theories and methods from psychology, education and psychotherapy and presents them in an educational format. PAIRS acts to bridge therapy, marital enrichment, and marriage and family development.

Programs: Courses and Workshops

PAIRS offers programs to the public led by PAIRS Trained Professionals (licensed health care professionals), and PAIRS Instructors (certified clergy and educators), trained under the auspices and supervision of Gordon and the PAIRS Foundation, the organization that officially oversees PAIRS programs, products and licensing worldwide. There are PTPs and facilitators around the world. Check “Finding an Educator” to find one near you or near one you love who may need PAIRS.

PAIRS is effective in all populations for which it has been adapted. PAIRS has relationship skills training programs for children and youth, PAIRS for PEERS, that are taught in schools, churches and agencies. PAIRS has programs for the Military, for use by chaplains and family service workers. PAIRS has faith-based programs for the Jewish, Catholic, and Christian church communities. PAIRS is currently developing programs and program delivery systems for disadvantaged youth, unmarried families, single parents, domestic violence, prison parolees, and related groups who can benefit from relationship skills training. PAIRS provides a vital ingredient to build stable marriages and healthy families with more hopeful futures for children. These programs for special groups will be taught by local agency workers and by specially trained community teachers and mentors. Research on PAIRS has demonstrated that PAIRS works for all groups under all circumstances evaluated. PAIRS is a modern technology adapted to our rapidly changing society in behalf of creating a saner, safer more loving world.

What you will learn in PAIRS

Sustaining a pleasurable intimate relationship does not work by magic. It depends upon a set of skills and understanding that can be learned. We learned most of what we know about intimate relationships through our early experiences in our families. Our personal history has a great deal of influence on what happens in our current relationships - on our behavior, our feelings, our expectations. We can change these influences if we become aware of them and wish to. It is well worthwhile to sort through what we inherited, keeping what fits for today and changing what does not.

PAIRS Competencies are specific skills that you will learn from PAIRS. These competencies focus in three areas: 1) emotional literacy; 2) conjoint partner skills for building and maintaining intimacy; and 3) practical knowledge, strategies and attitudes for sustaining positive marriage and family life. You may click on the above links to see a listing of the skills taught in PAIRS.

The Goal of PAIRS is a relationship that both partners can live with joyfully. For this to happen, each partner must become able to identify his or her own feelings and needs, and learn to communicate them in such a way that they can get met. This means communicating one's needs and desires without making the other partner feel resentful, smothered, burdened, manipulated, or inadequate. Easily and fully meeting each others' needs is the foundation of intimacy, fulfillment, and happiness.

PAIRS teaches specific easily learnable tools for successful communication such as confiding, complaining, and clarifying and for effective problems solving such as managing anger, expressing anger safely, fighting fairly for change and eliminating dirty fighting. PAIRS also guides the vast deepening of self-knowledge and develops emotional literacy. PAIRS addresses pleasure and satisfaction by teaching skills to enhance bonding, sensuality and sexuality in marriage. PAIRS teaches a profound but simple model, the Relationship Roadmap, to understand relationship success and to understand relationship mishaps and know what to do about them. PAIRS teaches over 60 skills that, after PAIRS, become the participants' PAIRS Tool Box for ongoing relationship maintenance.

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