Affectionate Military Couple From Behind Hugging Looking Away Isolated on White.

A decorated sailor with dreams of becoming a U.S. Navy Captain faces marital struggles with a fellow sailor. Reluctant to seek help due to reputation concerns, they turn to an AI-powered relationship coach called Yodi. Through the PAIRS program, they practice communication and conflict resolution exercises, ultimately rediscovering their closeness and intimacy. The anonymous assistance provided by Yodi proves invaluable to servicemen and women, offering confidential support and fostering emotional connections. Yodi is available on Android and iOS devices.

The Dream of a Lifetime

Gail has had her eyes set on becoming a U.S. Navy Captain since childhood. With nearly a decade of service behind her, the sailor has paid her dues. She’s been recognized with more than a dozen medals and commendations and is hopeful she’ll finally make captain in an upcoming round of promotions.

Gail’s dad had been a Navy captain and his father before him. Gail is the only one of five children to follow in their footsteps. She remembers the day in middle school when she sat proudly in the visitors stand, watched her father promote, and decided she’d one day become a Navy captain too.

With her unblemished service record and never ceasing, enthusiastic ‘can-do, will-do’ attitude, Gail is popular among her peers and leadership too. She’s a favorite among junior sailors as well. She’s counting on all that support to help her achieve the dream of a lifetime.

Gail Has a Secret

But Gail has a secret. 

Navy couple get help from AI-powered relationship coach
Gail and Craig were afraid to get help because of concerns about the impact on Gail’s Navy career.

Her marriage of eight years to Craig, a fellow sailor, has been on the verge of collapse for almost six months. Ironically, their long separations during deployments 3,000 miles from each other had been a saving grace. In the half year that they’ve been back in the same quarters less than a mile from breathtaking views of the Pacific, Gail and Craig have been at each other’s throats. Their once happy home has dissolved into a twilight zone of animosity, anger, and despair.

Your Reputation is All You’ve Got

Gail knows they need help. Craig knows it too. Despite abundant services available both on and off base, Gail’s concerned that pursuing counseling or ending her marriage could spell the death of her biggest dreams. Knowing how important it is for Gail to make Captain, Craig agrees that her concerns are justified. “Your reputation is all you’ve got,” Gail said. 

“I’m not doing it.”

“No matter how many people promise confidentiality, the Navy is like a small town where everyone will know your business if you reach out for help,” Gail explained.  “I’m not doing it,” she added.

Surfing the net over a painful weekend of arguments and retreat, Gail found the answer to prayer – an AI-powered relationship coach and mentor developed by the award-winning PAIRS program. PAIRS is an acronym for “Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills.”

Desperate for help but unwilling to risk her reputation, Gail was intrigued by the opportunity to get the support she and Craig needed without risking exposure.

AI-Powered Relationship Coach

During a momentary truce, Craig and Gail both agreed they’d give the AI-powered relationship coach a try. They’d login to the PAIRS App on their separate devices and agreed to get together in the evening to talk about what they learned.

They both began with “Clarifying Relationship Expectations,” five questions to define what was working for each of them, what was missing, and what they’d like to offer one another if things were better.

Their conversation that first evening went better than Gail had imagined. She and Craig realized they had similar views about what it would take to have a shot at becoming close again. They agreed to continue.

Practicing What They Learned

The next day, they both logged into the App to learn an exercise called, “The Daily Temperature Reading.” They agreed they’d put what they learned from Yodi, their PAIRS-trained AI coach, into practice. 

For the next 30 days, Gail and Craig set aside ten minutes a day away from any distractions to share appreciations, new information, puzzles, concerns with recommendations, and wishes, hopes and dreams. Practicing with Yodi, they both learned how to do the exercise and were ready to do it with each other.

Relationship Coach Helps Them Get on Same Page

Several days later, they both learned a third exercise called, “Talking Tips.” They each practiced confiding about a concern with Yodi and coming up with specific requests. Yodi coached them along the way. After getting comfortable doing the exercise with Yodi, they did it with each other.

“Suddenly we were on the same page,” Gail said. “Issues they had been boiling for months, maybe years, were issues we could resolve when we had a structure to succeed. Our relationship coach, Yodi, gave us that structure, the skills, and helped us find our own answers.”

AI-powered relationship coach

Over the next several weeks, Gail and Craig worked with Yodi to learn half a dozen other relationship boosting skills developed by PAIRS, including emotional literacy, empathy, and compassion-building skills such as, “Emptying the Emotional Jug,” “Untangling Love Knots,” “Resolving Emotional Allergies,” and “Letting Go of Grudges.” Each time, they’d start by learning and practicing with Yodi and then do the exercises with each other.

Looking Forward to a Second Honeymoon

A month later, the couple are looking forward to a second honeymoon. The PAIRS App’s evidence-based communications, conflict resolution, and emotional literacy exercises helped them not only problem-solve but rediscover a closeness and intimacy they’d long missed. 

“Yodi helped us understand ourselves and each other in ways we never had,” Gail offered. “As we deepened that understanding, we were able to forgive, to embrace each other, and to be healing to one another. We can love and laugh together again, and it’s wonderful.”

Overcoming the Epidemic of Despair

Like Gail and Craig, many other military servicemen and women are finding the anonymity of AI-based assistance can be the difference between getting the help they need or suffering in silence.

“There’s an epidemic of despair,” Gail confided. “So many of us know we need help but aren’t willing to risk our reputations or the possibility that getting help could possibly make things worse. Suddenly the help we’ve needed is available confidentially, 24/7, from the privacy of home. It works if you do the work yourself. It’s even free, although for us, it was priceless.”

Communication is to relationships what breath is to life.

Virginia Satir

Virginia Satir, the pioneering author and family therapist who helped develop the PAIRS program, said, “Communication is to relationships what breath is to life.”

AI Relationship Coach Helping People Tune into Their Own Wisdom

“As a therapist, I am a companion. I try to help people tune into their own wisdom,” Satir continued.

PAIRS National Trainer Rachel Marmor, herself a licensed marriage and family counselor, said Yodi was developed by PAIRS to provide that type of companion relationship while delivering the important triad of communications, conflict resolution, and emotional connection skills.

As a family physician, I recommend Yodi to patients as a valuable tool for navigating the complexities of relationships and promoting overall well-being.

Dr. Alexander Eisenberg

Promoting Positive Health Outcomes

Dr. Alexander Eisenberg Miami-area family physician
Dr. Alexander Eisenberg

Dr. Alexander Eisenberg, a Miami-area family physician, said working with an AI-powered relationship coach like Yodi can also help boost health outcomes. “As a family physician, I recommend Yodi to patients as a valuable tool for navigating the complexities of relationships and promoting overall well-being,” Dr. Eisenberg said.

“Yodi is an innovative use of AI technology, combined with the proven PAIRS program. It offers a unique and effective approach to addressing communication challenges and fostering emotional connections,” the Florida medical doctor said.

Yodi is available for both Android and iOS devices from the Google Play Store and Apple App Store. You can learn more at www.MyPAIRSCoach.com.

Yodi AI-Powered Relationship Coach Developed by the PAIRS Foundation.

By PAIRS Foundation

What is PAIRS? Intimacy is critical to the process of developing and sustaining close relationships, now a major concern in our culture. Modernization has shifted the primary function of marriage from providing security, stability, and raising children to developing a lifetime of love and intimacy. In previous generations successful marriages depended upon duty and role competence. Modern marriages require greater interpersonal competence as well as equality between partners. Relationships are sought that not only create stable families but also provide partners with a lifetime of love and companionship. The PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills) programs, developed by Lori H. Gordon, Ph.D., provide a comprehensive system to enhance self-knowledge and to develop the ability to sustain pleasurable intimate relationships. Gordon's approach integrates a wide range of theories and methods from psychology, education and psychotherapy and presents them in an educational format. PAIRS acts to bridge therapy, marital enrichment, and marriage and family development. Programs: Courses and Workshops PAIRS offers programs to the public led by PAIRS Trained Professionals (licensed health care professionals), and PAIRS Instructors (certified clergy and educators), trained under the auspices and supervision of Gordon and the PAIRS Foundation, the organization that officially oversees PAIRS programs, products and licensing worldwide. There are PTPs and facilitators around the world. Check “Finding an Educator” to find one near you or near one you love who may need PAIRS. PAIRS is effective in all populations for which it has been adapted. PAIRS has relationship skills training programs for children and youth, PAIRS for PEERS, that are taught in schools, churches and agencies. PAIRS has programs for the Military, for use by chaplains and family service workers. PAIRS has faith-based programs for the Jewish, Catholic, and Christian church communities. PAIRS is currently developing programs and program delivery systems for disadvantaged youth, unmarried families, single parents, domestic violence, prison parolees, and related groups who can benefit from relationship skills training. PAIRS provides a vital ingredient to build stable marriages and healthy families with more hopeful futures for children. These programs for special groups will be taught by local agency workers and by specially trained community teachers and mentors. Research on PAIRS has demonstrated that PAIRS works for all groups under all circumstances evaluated. PAIRS is a modern technology adapted to our rapidly changing society in behalf of creating a saner, safer more loving world. What you will learn in PAIRS Sustaining a pleasurable intimate relationship does not work by magic. It depends upon a set of skills and understanding that can be learned. We learned most of what we know about intimate relationships through our early experiences in our families. Our personal history has a great deal of influence on what happens in our current relationships - on our behavior, our feelings, our expectations. We can change these influences if we become aware of them and wish to. It is well worthwhile to sort through what we inherited, keeping what fits for today and changing what does not. PAIRS Competencies are specific skills that you will learn from PAIRS. These competencies focus in three areas: 1) emotional literacy; 2) conjoint partner skills for building and maintaining intimacy; and 3) practical knowledge, strategies and attitudes for sustaining positive marriage and family life. You may click on the above links to see a listing of the skills taught in PAIRS. The Goal of PAIRS is a relationship that both partners can live with joyfully. For this to happen, each partner must become able to identify his or her own feelings and needs, and learn to communicate them in such a way that they can get met. This means communicating one's needs and desires without making the other partner feel resentful, smothered, burdened, manipulated, or inadequate. Easily and fully meeting each others' needs is the foundation of intimacy, fulfillment, and happiness. PAIRS teaches specific easily learnable tools for successful communication such as confiding, complaining, and clarifying and for effective problems solving such as managing anger, expressing anger safely, fighting fairly for change and eliminating dirty fighting. PAIRS also guides the vast deepening of self-knowledge and develops emotional literacy. PAIRS addresses pleasure and satisfaction by teaching skills to enhance bonding, sensuality and sexuality in marriage. PAIRS teaches a profound but simple model, the Relationship Roadmap, to understand relationship success and to understand relationship mishaps and know what to do about them. PAIRS teaches over 60 skills that, after PAIRS, become the participants' PAIRS Tool Box for ongoing relationship maintenance.

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