How Letting It Out Makes Dads Better

“You don’t have to be quiet anymore.” — Seth Eisenberg, PAIRS CEO and author of Let It Out

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Breaking the Silence of Strength

For generations, fathers were taught that strength meant silence. The messages were clear:

“Man up.”
“Don’t cry.”
“Stay in control.”

Somewhere along the way, we equated emotional repression with leadership. But a growing movement of emotionally attuned men is proving that real strength begins with vulnerability.

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Let It Out: A Voice for the Silenced

In Let It Out: A Guide to Emotional Release, Healing, and Connection, Seth Eisenberg writes:

“Most people don’t lose their voice all at once. It happens slowly… a raised eyebrow when you cry… a parent who looks away when you hurt.”

These early moments teach boys—and later men—to shut down. That silence can turn into stress, anger, or disconnection. Left unspoken, it becomes a barrier between fathers and their families.

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A Scream That Changed a Life

Seth Eisenberg shares a pivotal moment from his own life:

“Eventually, I did. And my life was never the same.”

He’s recalling his first scream in a safe, supported setting as a teen—a powerful emotional release that marked the beginning of healing. This act of expression, rooted in the groundbreaking work of Dr. Daniel Casriel, isn’t about theatrics—it’s about survival.

Now, Eisenberg brings this work to fathers, veterans, and trauma survivors across the country.

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Why Fathers Must Feel

We often assume parenting is about providing. But children need emotional leadership as much as material security. That means:

• Naming and sharing feelings
• Apologizing when we fall short
• Modeling vulnerability, not perfection

In Chapter Seven, Eisenberg writes of a young man:

“Peter wasn’t broken. He was adapted… He wasn’t a locked box. He was a shield. And a brilliant one at that.”

How many boys live as shields—waiting for their fathers to show them another way?

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Try This with Your Child: The Emotion Check-In

One of the simplest yet most transformative tools fathers can use is a daily emotion check-in.

Seth Eisenberg describes it like this:

“We started, as we always do, with the emotional check-in. Each person was asked to say what they were feeling. Not what they thought. Just what they felt.”
— Let It Out, Chapter One: Arrival

At home, it looks like this:

• Ask your child (and yourself): “What are you feeling right now?”
• Offer choices if they need help: happy, sad, frustrated, nervous, tired, excited
• Validate the feeling. Resist the urge to fix or redirect.

Then take your turn.

By modeling emotional expression, you teach your child it’s okay to feel—and that love isn’t withdrawn in response to honesty.

Let It Out: A Guide to Emotional Release, Healing, and Connection is available now on Amazon.com.