When a close friend told Seth Eisenberg about the moment his five-year-old son asked, “Abba, are we safe?” during a missile alert in Tel Aviv, the weight of that question stayed with him.
It was the first Gulf War. They were huddled in a stairwell as Scud missiles from Iraq threatened Israeli cities. My friend gave the only answer he could in that moment: “We’re together, and I’ll always protect you.”
Decades later, that same fear has returned to homes across Israel. Since the October 7th Hamas attacks, hundreds of thousands of families have found themselves living with ongoing trauma, sudden loss, and the heartbreak of separation — including many children wondering if their world will ever feel safe again.
“Parenting through war isn’t just about keeping children physically safe,” Eisenberg says. “It’s about helping them feel emotionally safe too — and that requires a different kind of strength.”
Emotional Strength is Not About Hiding Feelings
Eisenberg, President of the PAIRS Foundation, has spent more than two decades helping families navigate crises through practical emotional and relationship skills. He says parents often believe they have to be stoic for their children, but that can send the wrong message.
“Real strength,” Eisenberg says, “means showing up emotionally. It means creating space for honest, caring conversations even when everything around you feels uncertain.”
The PAIRS Foundation has trained thousands of professionals and families, including military veterans, first responders, and trauma survivors. The tools it teaches — many of which are now available online — help families build emotional resilience and connection in the face of overwhelming stress.
Three Skills Every Parent Can Use
Among the tools Eisenberg recommends for parents navigating conflict or trauma:
- Daily Temperature Reading – A structured, five-step daily check-in to help families share appreciations, new information, questions, concerns, and hopes. “It’s like watering the garden of your relationship,” Eisenberg says. “Just a few minutes can restore trust and emotional safety.”
- Emptying the Emotional Jug – A guided conversation to help kids and adults release feelings like sadness, fear, and anger in a safe, supported way. “Children don’t always have the words to explain what they’re feeling. This tool gives them — and their parents — a voice.”
- PAIRS Talking Tips – A simple communication exercise that helps people express concerns in a way that builds empathy instead of conflict. “It’s one of the most powerful things a parent can learn,” Eisenberg explains. “To be able to say, ‘This is how I feel, this is what I need,’ without blame or shame.”
Creating a Quiet Revolution at Home
In homes affected by war or trauma, Eisenberg says emotional safety is just as vital as physical safety — and often harder to maintain.
“There’s a quiet revolution that can happen in every home,” he says. “Not with grand gestures, but with small, daily choices to connect, listen, and be present.”
That kind of revolution starts with parents — not being perfect, but being emotionally available.
“We can’t always stop the missiles,” Eisenberg says. “But we can be the safe place our children run to when the sirens go off.”
Get Started with Free Tools and Support
To access free emotional and relationship skills resources — including the Daily Temperature Reading, Talking Tips, and Emptying the Emotional Jug — visit www.MyPAIRSCoach.com.
You can also reach the PAIRS team directly at info@PAIRS.com for guidance, training options, or to bring PAIRS programs to your community.
Because no child should ever have to face fear alone. And no parent should have to wonder how to answer the question, “Are we safe?”
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