The trauma of war has a profound impact on children, affecting not only their immediate safety but also their long-term psychological and emotional well-being. In regions like Israel, where conflict is a persistent reality, understanding these effects is crucial. By sharing personal stories from affected individuals and insights from experts, we can better appreciate the challenges these young individuals face and explore effective strategies for supporting them.
The Psychological Toll on Children
War leaves an indelible mark on children, often manifesting in severe psychological trauma. The ongoing conflict in Israel has provided numerous case studies that highlight the profound impact on young lives. Research and personal stories from Israeli families reveal the depth of this trauma and the ways in which it can shape a child’s development.
Yossi’s Journey: From Trauma to Healing
Yossi, now 22, was just 8 years old when a rocket attack targeted his home in southern Israel. The attack resulted in immediate physical damage but left deeper, invisible scars. Yossi’s mother, Miriam, vividly recalls the day. “It was a terrifying experience. The explosion shattered our home and our sense of safety. Yossi was traumatized, and the change in him was immediate and profound.”
The aftermath of the attack was not just physical but deeply psychological. Yossi exhibited classic signs of PTSD: nightmares, heightened anxiety, and hypervigilance. “I would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, afraid that the rockets would return,” Yossi remembers, his voice tinged with lingering fear. He struggled to understand why such violence had targeted his family, leading to a profound sense of insecurity.
Miriam, desperate to help her son, sought assistance from a trauma specialist who recommended a combination of therapy and support groups. Yossi began attending sessions with Dr. Rina Shapiro, a child psychologist specializing in trauma recovery. “Yossi’s symptoms were severe initially,” Dr. Shapiro explains. “We used a variety of therapeutic techniques, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and trauma-focused interventions, to help him process his experiences.”
In addition to these therapeutic interventions, Yossi’s family also engaged in specific relationship-building exercises recommended by Seth Eisenberg, CEO of PAIRS Foundation, which stands for Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills. Eisenberg, who has worked with thousands of youngsters and adults, including many impacted by trauma, suggested the “Emptying the Emotional Jug” exercise. This guided conversation helped Yossi articulate and release his pent-up emotions in a safe environment, allowing him to express his feelings of fear, anger, and sadness—critical steps in his healing journey.
Yossi’s family also incorporated the PAIRS “Talking Tips” exercise, which provided a structured approach for him to confide in his parents. This exercise helped Yossi feel more comfortable sharing his fears and anxieties, knowing he would be listened to and understood without interruption or judgment. This increased open communication further strengthened the family’s emotional bond.
Over time, Yossi showed significant improvement. “Therapy helped me make sense of my fears and gave me tools to manage them,” he says. The combination of professional therapy and family support, including regular use of the Emotional Jug and Talking Tips exercises, provided Yossi with the emotional tools he needed to recover. While he continues to experience occasional anxiety, Yossi has made considerable progress and now actively participates in community activities, aiming to help others who have faced similar challenges.
Tamar’s Resilience: Overcoming Early Childhood Trauma
Tamar, now 16, was only 5 years old during the 2014 Gaza conflict. Her family’s home was destroyed, and they lost several friends in the violence. Tamar’s father, David, describes the aftermath. “The conflict turned Tamar’s world upside down. She was scared and confused, often asking why such terrible things were happening.”
Tamar’s psychological state deteriorated rapidly. She developed severe anxiety and exhibited behavioral changes. “She had trouble sleeping, was scared of loud noises, and became very withdrawn,” David recalls, his face shadowed with the weight of those memories.
To support Tamar, David sought help from Dr. Rachel Levi, a child psychologist known for her work with trauma-affected children. “Tamar’s case was challenging due to her young age and the severity of her trauma,” Dr. Levi notes. “We employed play therapy to help her express her feelings in a non-threatening way. Additionally, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) was used to address her anxiety and fears.”
Dr. Levi and her team worked with Tamar over several months. “Through therapy, Tamar began to regain her sense of security and learn coping mechanisms,” Dr. Levi explains. Tamar’s progress was notable. “I learned how to talk about my feelings and not be so afraid,” Tamar shares, her voice now steadier.
In addition to the therapy, Tamar’s family also adopted the PAIRS “Volcano Anger Ritual” exercise, which Eisenberg recommends for managing intense emotions like anger. This exercise involves expressing anger in a controlled, ritualized manner that helps release the emotion without causing harm to oneself or others. For Tamar, this ritual became a valuable tool in managing her overwhelming emotions, allowing her to channel her anger in a healthy way.
The family also made use of the PAIRS “Daily Temperature Reading” exercise, a simple yet powerful tool to strengthen open communication and emotional connection within the family. By dedicating time each day to share appreciations, new information, puzzles, concerns, and wishes, Tamar and her family were able to maintain a supportive routine that reinforced their bond and provided Tamar with a consistent outlet for her thoughts and feelings.
As a result, Tamar now participates in school activities and community service, showing remarkable resilience despite her early trauma. The combination of therapeutic support and relationship-strengthening exercises provided her with a foundation to rebuild her sense of security and self-confidence.
Lior’s Long-Term Struggles: Navigating Adulthood with War Trauma
Lior, now 30, experienced the Second Intifada as a teenager. The violence and instability during that period left a lasting impact on him. “The constant fear and uncertainty were overwhelming,” Lior reflects, his eyes revealing the toll of years of anxiety. “Even as an adult, I find it challenging to feel secure and stable.”
Lior’s long-term struggles include difficulties in forming stable relationships and managing stress. “The trauma from my teenage years has followed me into adulthood,” he explains. “I often find myself anxious and distrustful.”
Lior has been in therapy for several years with Dr. Michal Katz, who specializes in adult trauma recovery. “Lior’s experiences during the Intifada have significantly influenced his adult life,” Dr. Katz notes. “We have worked on addressing his deep-seated fears and developing strategies for managing anxiety and building stable relationships.”
Dr. Katz emphasizes the importance of ongoing support. “For individuals like Lior, long-term therapeutic support is crucial. It’s about helping them build resilience and find ways to cope with the lingering effects of their experiences.”
Strategies for Supporting Children Impacted by the Trauma of War
Effective support for children affected by the trauma of war involves understanding their unique needs and providing tailored interventions. Here are some strategies that can make a significant difference:
1. Provide Emotional Support
Creating a supportive environment where children feel safe to express their emotions is crucial. Encourage open communication and validate their feelings. “Listening to children and acknowledging their fears helps them feel understood and supported,” says Seth Eisenberg. “It’s important for caregivers to be empathetic and patient.”
Using relationship-building tools like the PAIRS “Emptying the Emotional Jug” can be particularly effective in helping children and their caregivers communicate. This exercise creates a structured opportunity for children to express what they are feeling, whether it’s fear, anger, sadness, or joy, and helps caregivers respond with understanding and support.
Additionally, the PAIRS “Talking Tips” exercise offers a practical framework to help children feel more comfortable confiding in their parents and caregivers. This exercise teaches both children and adults how to listen and share effectively, building trust and deepening emotional connections.
2. Seek Professional Help
Professional intervention can greatly aid in a child’s recovery from the trauma of war. Therapists who specialize in trauma, such as Dr. Rina Shapiro and Dr. Rachel Levi, use techniques like Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and play therapy. “Early intervention is key to addressing trauma effectively,” Eisenberg emphasizes. “Engaging with a qualified therapist can provide children with the tools they need to process their experiences.”
Parents should be encouraged to seek out therapists who have experience with childhood trauma. Additionally, community workshops can be organized to educate parents and caregivers on the signs of trauma and how to support children through professional help.
3. Establish Routine
Maintaining consistent routines helps provide a sense of stability and normalcy. Regular schedules for daily activities, such as school and family time, can help children feel secure. “Routine creates a predictable environment, which can be reassuring for children who have experienced trauma,” Eisenberg explains.
Incorporating the PAIRS “Daily Temperature Reading” exercise into the family routine can significantly enhance the stability and emotional connection within the household. This daily practice encourages family members to share their thoughts and feelings, helping to maintain open lines of communication and address any concerns in a supportive manner.
Parents can work with schools to ensure that routines are consistent across environments. Teachers can be trained to provide structure within the classroom that reinforces the routines established at home.
4. Promote Resilience
Fostering resilience involves helping children develop coping strategies and a sense of self-efficacy. Encourage participation in activities that build confidence and provide opportunities for accomplishment. “Resilience is about helping children find their inner strength and build a sense of hope,” Eisenberg notes. “Supporting them in overcoming challenges and celebrating their achievements reinforces their ability to cope.”
Incorporating exercises like the PAIRS “Volcano Anger Ritual” can help children manage intense emotions, build resilience, and develop a healthier relationship with their feelings. This ritual allows children to express their anger in a safe, controlled way, reducing the likelihood of these emotions manifesting in harmful behaviors.
Encouraging participation in sports, arts, and other group activities can also build resilience by giving children a sense of accomplishment and belonging.
5. Involve the Community
Community support systems, including schools, local organizations, and support groups, play a vital role in providing additional resources and care. “Community involvement helps create a broader support network for children and their families,” Eisenberg says. “Collaborating with local resources can provide additional assistance and a sense of belonging.”
Communities can organize events, support groups, and workshops to bring families together and foster a network of support. Schools can also play a pivotal role by providing safe spaces for children to share their experiences and feelings with peers and counselors.
6. Educate and Support Caregivers
Parents and caregivers also need support and education to effectively help their children. Training programs and support groups can equip caregivers with the knowledge and skills to manage their own stress and provide better support for their children. “Caregivers play a critical role in the recovery process,” Eisenberg emphasizes. “Providing them with the tools and support they need ensures they can offer the best possible care to their children.”
Offering workshops and support groups specifically for caregivers can create a space where they can share experiences, learn coping strategies, and receive the emotional support they need. This empowerment can enhance their ability to support their children effectively.
The Role of Family and Community in Recovering from the Trauma of War
The recovery of children affected by the trauma of war is not solely the responsibility of therapists; family and community play essential roles. The stories of Yossi, Tamar, and Lior illustrate the importance of a supportive network in helping children navigate their trauma.
Miriam, Yossi’s mother, reflects on her role: “As a parent, you want to do everything you can to help your child heal. It was challenging, but the support from therapists and our community made a significant difference.”
David, Tamar’s father, adds, “Community support and therapy helped us navigate the trauma. It’s crucial to have a network of care that includes both professional help and community involvement.”
Dr. Rachel Levi highlights the collaborative approach: “Working with families and communities allows us to provide a more comprehensive support system. It’s about creating a network that supports the child’s healing process from all angles.”
In addition to professional therapy, these families found strength in their communities. Local support groups, schools, and neighbors who banded together to offer support and care played a crucial role in the children’s recovery.
Navigating the Trauma of War
The personal stories of Yossi, Tamar, and Lior underscore the profound impact of the trauma of war on children and the importance of targeted support strategies. By fostering a supportive environment, seeking professional help, maintaining stability, and building resilience, we can help children navigate the trauma of conflict and pave the way for healing and recovery.
Utilizing specific relationship skills like the PAIRS “Emptying the Emotional Jug,” “Volcano Anger Ritual,” “Talking Tips,” and “Daily Temperature Reading” exercises can further enhance the support we provide to children affected by war. These tools help create a structured, safe environment where children can express their emotions, build resilience, and strengthen their connections with caregivers and community members.
Understanding these challenges and implementing effective strategies helps children affected by war receive the care and support they need to thrive despite their experiences.
Citations:
- Sagy, S., & Knafo, A. (2013). The effects of war on children in Israel: A review of the literature. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 54(8), 795-810.
- Lavi, T., & Witztum, E. (2010). The effects of war trauma on cognitive development in children. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 15(2), 253-263.
- Keren, M., & Ben-Porath, D. (2014). Behavioral and social problems in children exposed to chronic conflict: A study in Israel. Journal of Family Psychology, 28(4), 507-516.
- Rosenbaum, M., & Aderka, I. M. (2017). Educational impacts of ongoing conflict on Israeli students. Journal of Educational Psychology, 109(2), 273-281.
- Miller, S., & Rabi, R. (2016). Resilience in children exposed to war: A case study from Israel. Child Development, 87(3), 950-964.
- Bamberger, M., & Eliraz, D. (2015). Long-term effects of war trauma on Israeli youth: A longitudinal study. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 28(5), 443-451.
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