Let Them Be: What Mel Robbins’ Relationship Advice Can Teach Parents

When Mel Robbins appeared on the Modern Love podcast to discuss her latest book, The Let Them Theory, she didn’t just offer relationship advice. She issued a challenge—to all of us who care deeply, who try hard, and who sometimes try too hard to make things right with the people we love.

For parents, her message couldn’t be more timely.

Robbins, known for her straightforward wisdom and viral insights like The 5 Second Rule, laid out five essential truths about love, connection, and letting go. Her words, captured in a recent New York Times article, echo what so many parents—and especially fathers—are learning the hard way: that the best relationships aren’t about control, but about trust.

“Let Them” is a Radical Act of Love

Robbins’ central premise is disarmingly simple: let people be who they are. Let your child storm off. Let your teenager say something outrageous. Let your partner have a bad day without making it about you.

That doesn’t mean we don’t care. It means we don’t cling.

As Robbins told the Times, the “Let Them” mindset is a cue to release what’s beyond our control. “Because your power is not in managing other people,” she said. “It’s in recognizing that you have no power to change them—and you don’t need to.”

For dads, that insight is gold. We’re conditioned to protect, to guide, to intervene. But sometimes, the best guidance is silence. The best protection is space. The best love is non-interference.

“Let Me” Take Back My Power

Robbins doesn’t stop at letting go of others. She invites us to reclaim ourselves with two simple words: “Let me.” Let me choose my reaction. Let me decide what matters. Let me be the parent I want to be, not the one my fear tells me to become.

Listening to Robbins on the podcast, I was struck by how closely her message aligns with the foundations of our work at PAIRS. Emotional mastery isn’t about suppressing feelings. It’s about directing them with intention. It’s the difference between parenting from reactivity or from peace.

The Courage to Trust

Robbins also urges us to trust ourselves. “If you don’t want the same thing that I want, then I don’t want to spend any more time and energy,” she says about romantic relationships. The same applies to parenting. If you know your values, you don’t have to micromanage your kids into sharing them. You live them. You model them. And then you trust the seeds you’re planting.

Slow-Burn Love

Perhaps the most profound lesson Robbins shared in the New York Times piece was this: real love is a slow burn. “Looks fade,” she said. “People get out of shape, people get cancer… but the one thing that won’t change if you’re with the right person is that being with them feels like an exhale.”

As fathers, we have the chance to be that safe place. That steady presence. That home base. Not because we’re perfect—but because we’re committed.

And when we practice the “Let Them” mindset, we create room for others to meet us there—not out of pressure, but out of love.

From Control to Connection

Mel Robbins’ conversation on Modern Love isn’t just advice. It’s a lifeline for fathers navigating the messy, beautiful challenge of raising kids, sustaining relationships, and staying true to themselves. Her wisdom echoes what Dr. Bernard D. Casriel wrote decades ago in The Road of Happiness: real joy begins when we drop the masks of authority and embrace our shared humanity.

So the next time you feel the urge to correct, control, or coerce—pause. Breathe. And remember Mel Robbins’ simple, powerful reminder: let them.

And let yourself, too.