Healthy families don’t happen by accident. Behind every loving relationship—between partners, parents and children, even coworkers—is someone who made the decision to grow. That’s the heart of What Successful Couples Do Differently, a timely and transformational guide written for anyone committed to building love that lasts.
Drawing on decades of experience in ministry, leadership, and relationship education, author Fred Nwakanma speaks to one universal truth: communication is the lifeblood of a thriving family.
“There is virtually no problem in the family you cannot defuse with effective communication,” Fred says. “Families that discuss regularly are more successful. They love, plan, and adapt more. They build a higher sense of commitment and appreciation.”
The prescription is simple but profound: talk to each other—daily, intentionally, and lovingly.
It Starts With You
According to the author, strong relationships don’t begin with “finding the right person.” They begin with being the right person.
“A successful marriage begins with who you are, not who you marry. You can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t know how to manage your emotions, how can you support someone else’s?”
In other words, emotional intelligence is a relationship skill—one that can be developed. And it starts with awareness, not blame.
Small Habits, Big Shifts
The book outlines a formula: couples who are consistently intentional about each other—who make space for connection—are the ones who thrive. The author recommends five daily practices:
- Eat together
- Talk for 15 to 30 minutes
- Laugh together
- Pray together
- Invest in learning together
“These aren’t luxuries,” Fred explains. “They’re the foundation of a relationship that grows stronger, not weaker, over time.”
He also urges couples to revisit their ‘why.’
“Remember why you fell in love. Remember the sacrifices you’ve made. And believe in what you’re building together.”
Faith at the Center
The book is firmly rooted in faith. Citing Ecclesiastes, he writes, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
That third strand, he says, is the Creator. “Couples who succeed long term often center their relationship in something higher than themselves.”
He encourages couples to pray together regularly—not as a religious duty, but as a daily act of emotional and spiritual alignment.
Parenting with Patience and Purpose
When asked what advice he’d give fathers raising children today, his message is clear: less micromanagement, more trust.
“Don’t try to control everything your child does—it backfires. Instead, build their internal compass. Teach them self-regulation, not just obedience.”
He compares parenting to building credit: start small, let children earn responsibility, praise growth, and never stop saying “I love you.”
He also reminds parents that discipline isn’t about punishment—it’s about preparation. When done with love, structure, and consistency, discipline helps children build character, not fear.
Marriage Is Work—But Sacred Work
Fred doesn’t shy away from the reality that relationships take effort.
“Marriage is hard. Life is hard. But when you do it well—when you stay, grow, forgive, and keep learning—the rewards are beyond anything you can imagine.”
What Successful Couples Do Differently offers practical tools, stories, and step-by-step guidance to help couples improve emotional safety, reconnect through communication, and rekindle intimacy.
But more than a how-to manual, it’s a reminder: your family is sacred. And love is something we learn—and relearn—through daily choices.
“Despite the multitude of problems families face today, you can succeed. But you must prepare. You must be intentional. Love is not luck—it’s learned.”
The Bottom Line
Whether you’re newly married, decades in, or starting again—What Successful Couples Do Differently offers insight and inspiration for every stage of the journey.
It’s not about perfect relationships. It’s about practicing love on purpose—and doing the work that leads to lasting connection.
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