“It honestly breaks my heart to say this, but you did not make it into the top 24.”
~ Jennifer Lopez
by Carson Abrir
Jennifer Lopez likes to help make dreams come true.
After telling singer Chris Medina that his American Idol journey was over last night, Jennifer Lopez melted down in front of the cameras. She seemed to crumble under the weight of eliminating Medina, relating with empathy to his life and dreams similar to the principles that have long guided her own.
No one doubts that Jennifer Lopez is a strong woman.
In 2003, hours before guests were set to arrive for her wedding to Ben Affleck, which would have been her third marriage, the couple called it off.
For more than 20 years, singing, dancing, acting, and designing helped Jennifer Lopez bring joy to millions of people and made the J.Lo brand one of the most popular in the world.
As the daughter of a kindergarten teacher and computer specialist, J.Lo’s unique combination of kindness, intellect, taste, and refined talent is a welcome addition to the tenth season of American Idol.
When she agreed to join Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson on the three-judge panel, Idol fans and producers knew she’d bring a unique connection to the journey of aspiring artists hoping the Idol stage would change their lives.
Jennifer Lopez and singer Marc Anthony, who she married in 2004, are famously private about their personal lives. Three years ago, J.Lo’s publicist quickly squashed rumors that the couple was splitting-up.
While only Jennifer Lopez herself knows what was going on in her heart and mind as she broke down after delivering the bad news to Chris Medina, it’s not unusual for someone devoted to bringing joy to the lives of others to suffer at the thought of ending the kind of dream that would have also been important to her.
The idea that when someone we care about is sad or in pain, we should be able to fix it is a misconception that can cause turmoil in even the strongest of people and relationships. That’s a common theme couples tackle in relationship and marriage education classes.
The misconception, known as a “love knot,” goes something like this:
“When you’re in pain, I believe I should be able to fix it. I don’t know how to fix it, so I feel guilty, inadequate, and distance from you when you are in pain.”
What couples learn to do is understand that we can have empathy for others when they’re in pain, respect their ability to ask for the support they need, and accept that we can care about and be there for each other even when we can’t fix it.
Chris Medina, who continues to love and support a girlfriend who suffered a traumatic brain injury after a car accident months before they were to be married, certainly can relate to the love knot.
For Jennifer Lopez to make it through the eliminations that will tonight reveal American Idol’s 24 semi-finalists and soon lead to just one American Idol dream coming true, it could be a good lesson too.